Gemini vs Gemini

This is what I imagine is going on in my son’s head – most of the words and sentences I’ve used are literal copies of what he says. Art imitates life, amirite? 🙂

Essay A

Today is the bestest day in the whole wide world. It is called Satur-day. I like it because the sun wakes up and pokes me in the eyeballs, but Mom and Dad are still under their big fuzzy blankets being “sleepy-heads.”

The first thing I do is go to their room. I have to be very, very quiet, like a ninja. Tip-toe, tip-toe. Then I jump! BOOM! “Wake up, wake up! The pancakes are lonely!” I tell them. Dad makes a sound like a big grumpy bear, but then he smiles. He makes the best pancakes. Sometimes they look like circles, but today he made one that looks like a lumpy dinosaur with three legs. I put a giant mountain of sticky-syrup on it.

After breakfast, we went to the park. I saw a squirrel with a very floofy tail. He was eating a nut, but then he looked at me and did a backflip! Well, he didn’t really do a flip, but he hopped really fast, which is basically the same thing. I also saw a dog named “Barnaby.” He was trying to catch his own tail, but his tummy was too round and he just rolled over like a potato. It was the funniest thing I ever saw in my entire life.

Now, the moon is out and it looks like a giant toenail in the sky. I am wearing my pajamas with the spaceships on them. My feet feel heavy, like they are made of rocks. Mom is reading me the book about the cow who goes to the moon. I think cows are silly because they don’t have rocket boots. I am very, very tired, but I don’t want to close my eyes because Satur-day might run away. But Dad says Satur-day will come back after I do some “Z-Z-Zs.” I think I will dream about the potato dog.

Essay B

I’m learning a new song at school – Monday Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday. My favorite is Saturday Sunday, because that’s when I stay at home with Mama and Papa.

Saturdays are good, because we go to the zoo and look at penguins and bongos. Or we go to the museum where there are so many rectangles on the walls. I like the zoo more, because the rhino was pooping, and the giraffe was eating leaves, and the penguins were swimming! The rectangles don’t poop or swim or eat – they are boring.

But Sundays are the best. When the sun starts going to bed, I go sit in the ‘troller. And then I go for a walk with mama and papa. You have to wear a jacket and shoes before you go for a walk. Otherwise, you get a cold – achoo! 

When we walk, I look at all the trees and the cars and the people walking on the pavement. Sometimes I get out of the ‘troller and walk on the pavement too. Sometimes we have to cross a road. You have to be careful on the road because the cars are very fast. You have to hold papa’s hand when you cross the road. 

And then, we go to a restaurant. At the restaurant, Mama gives me toys from the backpack – I have cars, and animals. Then the food comes out and I can eat it with mama and papa. Sometimes the food is yummy yummy. I like the tacos and noonles and the soup. 

Then we go home and I can play on my bike, and with my guitar. And then we have to take a shower and brush my teeth. I don’t like my ‘trawberry toothpaste. I like mama’s toothpaste because it’s ‘picy.

Then I get a toy and a book, and papa reads the book for me in the rocking chair. Then he says it’s time to go to bed, but I don’t want to go to bed! I want to stay awake! Hey ‘oogle, turn on the baby light! Nooo! Oh papa is asking me what I saw in the zoo in the morning. I saw the rhino today. It was pooping. And then…. zzzzzzzz.